Their Last Year
by EyesOfADoe18
Summary: James and Lily's relationship is complicated. It always has been and it always will. What can their last year at Hogwarts do for them? Draw each other closer or push themselves away?
1. Chapter 1

Credit to JK Rowling! Enjoy my Jily fans! XOXO -L

Chapter 1:

I kissed my mother on the cheek and gave one last hug to my greying father.

"I'll be safe, I promise. Just-," I paused and took a breath, "just tell Tuney I said congratulations and I hope she's really happy with Vernon."

Unfortunately, while running out the door to get to King's Cross before the Hogwarts Express left, my sister was showcasing her brand new engagement ring in the living room. Three and half carats. Princess cut. Nice.

"Lily, I know she will appreciate hearing that. I'm sure she's sorry she couldn't see you off to your last year at school, but you know how she gets around Vernon." My mother's eyes pleaded with me, begging me to believe her pathetic excuse for my sister's absence: a brunch with the in-laws.

"She's missed the last five times, mum, I can't say I'm not impressed that she has found five other things to be doing on September first every year."

"Darling, you know she loves you. This day is just hard for her." She caressed my cheek. "You know that." Petunia has always had an issue with me going away. Jealousy, hatred, sadness that she was alone all year. I tried to understand it, but that was almost as hard as it was for Petunia to stomach me being magical and her not.

"Now, stay safe at school and get high marks like you always do. We couldn't be prouder of you for the last six years, love," my father said, his temples wrinkled with lines creasing his soft skin. The loudest engine I've ever heard blew off its final whistle and I grabbed my parents together for a final hug before running off to find a seat.

"Marlene? Alice?" I shouted down the hallways trying to find my friends. I had my head popped into a compartment when a pair of hands pulled my shoulders back and twisted me to face the grabby intruder. I was ready to yell before I snapped my mouth closed.

"Oh, Potter, it's you. I was ready to dismember whoever thought it was alright to grab me, but seeing as you're my new partner this year, I'll spare you."

His dark hair had grown over the summer, covering his eyes a bit and he had a slight glasses tan line from too many hours in the sun. A new scar on his left cheek, the shape of a wishbone still looked fresh and his frame was definitely different.

"Evans! My new right hand man, well I guess woman. I just thought I'd say hello before we spend the next few hours on this bore of a train ride just day dreaming of all the filthy sex we could have on Dumbledore's wooden desk this year," he said with his infamous smirk. I raised my hand to slap his stupid smile right off his stupid, structured face, but he caught my wrist and winked. "I'm only kidding, Lily. I promise to keep my day dreaming to a minimum and try to leave out the dirty details when I explain my dreams over cereal in the mornings." He leaned down to kiss my cheek. How chummy he must feel to be the Head Boy with me.

"By the way, Marlene and Alice are down the hall to your right."

I procure a thankful, sweet smile at his smug face and twist my wrist out of his grip."How sweet of you to let me know, James! Thanks a million!" I jab my elbow into his gut, which was quite firm, and silently cast a silencing charm on him. "Oh, and keep that pretty mouth of yours shut for me, dear. Can't have our possible, forbidden shag being gossiped about the train!" I holler as I sweep myself into my friends' compartment. Poor Potter, the charm I used doesn't have a counter curse, but a time limit. I hope three hours will teach him his lesson.

James and I have what some may call a complicated relationship. We have been fighting like wildfires ever since we got sorted into Gryffindor and throughout the years it developed into an odd type of friendship. We drive each other insane and end up angry rather than happy most of the time when we are together, but strangely, James and I almost get a kick out of each other's company.

"Finally! Lily, tell us about your summer!" Alice screeched in my ear as she pressed her body to mine in a enveloping embrace the moment I walked through the door. Always the hugger.

"Well, for starters," I whipped out a badge from my pocket with a wide grin spreading on my lips, "I got Head Girl!" Screams surrounded me and for the next few hours, I really thought it would be a simple, final year.

"Would you like to do the honors?" I asked as Potter and I stared at the portrait of three nuns. They had on traditional eighteenth century robes and were around a small table beading rosaries.

"If you insist, Evans," James said raising his wand.

"I don't _insist. _I mean I can do the charm, too. I wouldn't even mind doing the charm at all," I refuted and took a step forward matching his distance from the frame.

"Well, I think it is traditional for the Head Boy to be the first to open the Heads' Portrait if I recall, Hogwarts a History, correctly."

"Oh shove it, Potter. It says no such thing in Hogwarts a History. You just want to have the power in our dynamic."

He scoffed. "You bloody offered, Evans! What do you want from me?"

"I never offered! I asked if you wanted to do the honors! It's different!"

Potter scoffed dramatically and rolled his hazel eyes. "It _is_ the same exact thing, woman! Let me open the bloody door before we die of old age out here! Last thing I need is a first year git to walk by and think we're so dense we can't cast a simple charm!"

"Don't call the first years 'gits.' We want them to respect us and like us, James." He better not screw up the whole year by ruining our reputation. "This is stupid. I'll open it." I reached into my pocket for my wand, but James grabbed my elbow. He is quite grabby today.

"Let me do it, Lily. I can handle it," he said in a dramatic tone, his eyes staring so deeply in mine like this was life or death. Such a theatrical beast.

"Grab me like that one more time Potter and I'll drag your ass all the way to Australia and leave you with the dingos!"

"Dingos? Really? All alone in the outback, by myself. Cold, probably at night-"

"Shut up, Potter! I have no patience for your theatrics!"

He sighed and hung his head in defeat. "Go ahead."

I raised my wand and the spell was leaving my lips when the door swung open. I cranked my head towards Potter with fury in my eyes.

"Oops. Did I accidentally open the door with my prestigious non-verbal magic? How silly of me! But I guess I didn't get Head Boy for nothing!" He said sarcastically as he laughed happily like a giddy school boy. His eyes twinkled and he gestured for me to walk in.

My eyes were stone and I mumbled, "just go." He shrugged and walked through. I lifted my left leg high in the air and gave his rump a kick to the ass. Serves him right.

"Evans!"

"Potter!" I mimicked his tone childishly. Ugh, there was a long, long year ahead of us.

"Welcome to Advanced Potions! Introductions seem a tad silly since I recognize every face in the room, so let's hop to it! We are brewing the Draught of Living Death which is so potent, one drop would kill a full-grown, adult wizard. A measly mist to the tongue could take down anyone under the age of sixteen, truthfully. Now, pair up!" Slughorn commanded as he whisked himself towards me. His bright smile and constant, teary eyes greeted mine and he grasped my hand with both of his. "My lovely Miss Evans! How was your summer?"

After a few long moments of chatter with the professor, I turn to see everyone has paired up, even Marlene. I raced over to her partner's side and pushed his rump off the stool. "Beat it, Black. Only legitimate students taking this class can be in here," I explained as I shoved his arms over.

"Oi! Evans, I am in this class! Back off will you? I need a partner as good as Marlene to brew this poison up to be able to spike your pumpkin juice tomorrow," he guffawed.

"Hey now, let's keep the death threats to a minimum, Padfoot," James said as he came up behind me and placed his arms lightly around my the tops of my biceps. "Evans, I know you're going to despise this, but I don't have a partner."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "Wow, Potter, how did you know?" I ask sarcastically as I stomp over to the free cauldrons. So typical that I get stuck with the guy who has slept through six years of potions class.

"Now, class, Mr. Snape seems to be partner-less. Who here wouldn't mind a plus one?" Slughorn asks as every pair of eyes in the room darts to the floor, ceiling, fingernails, really any place but the professor's gaze. I stupidly excel at eye contact so next thing I knew, Severus was on my left side and James was on my right.

"Who doesn't love a good trio, eh?" James tried, attempting to brighten the immense tension that just entered the atmosphere. My history with Snape was almost as gruesome as James'. One moment we were best friends taking on the world together, the next I was making friends with girls in my year and Snape was doing the same with his Slytherin dorm mates. Unfortunately, he made friends with the wrong kind of people and then we stopped talking all together after fifth year. Awkward glances in hallways and run-ins in our neighborhood during holidays made everything more horrible for our tensed relationship. I definitely didn't hate him and he really didn't hate me, but friends grow apart and change. We went our separate ways.

"I prefer to work alone, Potter," Severus spit out, "and I most certainly don't like a teammate with a head the size of a basilisk on my team so stay out of the way. Luckily, Lily and I actually have brain cells to contribute."

"Hmm, the same brain cells that got you three months of detention last year for petrifying a second year? Please, do bestow all of your wisdom unto me, Snivellus," James retorted with the utmost sass. He really just can't refrain from talking back, could he?

"Boys!" I interjected, jutting my hands between the two, "can we just brew the potion and then move on? I'm sure we are all looking forward to getting to leave class as soon as possible. This takes anywhere from an hour to three hours to boil so let's just shut up and get on wth it." Don't they understand that the fastest this is over, the faster we can leave?

The boys muttered and opened their potions books. Snape went to get the ingredients while Potter and I began to heat the cauldron.

"How were you friends with him for so long, Evans?" James asked as he lit the fire at the base of the cauldron in front of us.

I shrugged my shoulders. "We grew up together. He was the first person to tell me about magic and introduced me to the world of Hogwarts. I don't know, for the first few years he was really my best friend, but," I paused and embarrassing chills ran down my arms, "people change."

"Yeah, they do."

I looked at Potter and he stared into my eyes a moment too long to be normal eye-contact behavior, before ducking his gaze down at the textbook he suddenly seemed very interested in.

"Here's everything we need. As top of the class for three years in a row, I'll be taking the lead. Lily, would you pass me the root of willow?" Snaps asked. It was definitely within his reach and I was no one's assistant. I was head of the class, too. We were always competing for the top spot. And Slughorn adored me. I opened my mouth to object, but James interjected.

"You have two grimy hands, Snape. Use them."

"I'm sorry I guess we can't all depend on the dozens of house elves living with us in the summer like you, Potter."

James' family had elves?

"You're comparing Lily to an elf? Hmmm, what an interesting comparison to a girl I think you'd rather imagine as a very well hidden secret sock in your drawers," James quipped back.

Gross.

Snape blushed bright red and seethed, avoiding my eyes. "Stick to shoving your broom up Black's ass, Potter. And keep that future Ministry mouth of yours sealed. Nobody likes a snitching dolt."

"A snitch? Me? That's quite funny considering I have proof that you were the one who reported Remus to Ministry officials. Happy Dumbledore shut that down before you woke up with that hook of a nose on your face ripped off."

James was seething. His shoulders were raised to his blood-red ears, his left eye had a slight twitch and his palms were clenched around his wand. I wouldn't be surprised if he let out a curse or two.

Snape scoffed and smiled cruelly. "His days are numbered. This school isn't for half-breeds."

"Severus!" I shouted, stepping in. How pathetic of him to dare put down half-breeds, he himself being a half-blood. His father was a banker. Snape finally met my gaze with enlarged pupils and then stormed out of the classroom, knocking over the cauldron in the process. Fire caught Potter's sleeve and I had to put it out with a scurgify charm.

"Thanks, Evans. I'm, uh, sorry about that. No one riles me up like him," James explained rubbing his shoulder. His robe was still smoking and I could see the pink skin that had been singed in the process.

"James, your skin is burnt. You need to get to Madam Pomfrey before it's too late for her to heal the flesh. I can do the potion myself, really."

He inspected his arm and shrugged. "I've been worse than this, Evans." He had a sort of sad, twinkle in his eye, like he had a mischievous secret that doubled as a broken past.

"Quidditch?" His eyes flashed and he nodded, but I wasn't convinced.

He avoided eye contact with me and fiddled with his hair. "I can brew a potion, you know. I really hate bringing this up, but my dad actually patented Sleak-eazy. I grew up with the worst slicked-back hair you've ever seen. I won't go near the stuff now." He shivered. "Too traumatizing."

Dramatic git. "I never knew that."

"I keep that fun fact to myself. My mother would be mortified if I was going around not only bragging about my father, but also bragging about my father and his hair potion with my hair looking like this."

Potter? Being humble? No wonder his hair was always a mess, he's been abused with hair potion his whole life. I always assumed his messy-do was just another scheme to act pompous whenever he ruffled his hands through it.

"But your hair is always a mess. Do you ever comb it?" I mean, sure not using a greasy hair potion is one thing, but never brushing it through? I can't even fathom the tangles.

"Comb it? Evans, I don't even own a comb."

"Not even with your fingers?" His hair looked soft, almost silky in its naturally wild state. Maybe he's just too perfect for tangles.

Merlin, did I just think that?

"I'm sure you've noticed my habit of fluffing it up, Lily. You mentioned it every time we have ever had a row how much it irks you." He paused from sorting the vials Snape had brought over, "although, you don't see me mentioning your lip nibbling, do you?"

"My what?"

"You bite your lip, Evans. You've never noticed?"

He looked smug, like he knows something I don't.

"I don't bite my lips. At least, not routinely," I said and then bit at my lower lip.

"Dammit! That was just a coincidence."

"Looked like a habit to me."

"Why do you care if I bite my lips? I must just do it as a reflex to chatting with annoying boys like yourself." I reached up to touch my lower lip. It did seem a bit swollen already, but wasn't it always puffy?

"Maybe because I'm jealous you get the pleasure of nibbling on your lips all day when I never get the chance. It's unfair and rude, Evans."

My eyes practically roll to the back of my head. "Oh, shove it, Potter. Save your lines for the fifth-year tarts just looking for some decent-looking Quidditch boy to deflower them before they turn 16."

"Oh, decent looking? Lily, I think I deserve more credit than that."

I glanced him up and down, cursing myself for it. He noticed and smirked.

"You're infuriating, Potter."

"Well, don't go biting that lip of yours, Evans," he leant down as he spoke, like our conversations was a secret, dirty almost. "I may just go wild."

I shove him back and began preparing ingredients for the potion. "Save it for your bedtime fantasies, James. Because that's all they will ever be." I glanced up to gage his reaction. That smirk was still ever present. Git.

"We'll see, Evans. We'll see."


	2. Chapter 2

All belongs to JK Rowling! XOXO -L

Chapter 2:

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans. I am tasking you with the preparations of Hogwarts first annual Halloween Formal Dance. Professor Dumbledore believe it time to celebrate 'as the muggles do' for October 31st and he deems you two the best leaders for the job. You may use your prefects as a resource for help and remove yourselves from rounds duty from now up until the event is over."

James squeezed my hand and my eyes automatically shifted over. I scowled when I caught his eye.

"Something wrong, Miss Evans?" McGonagall asked. I ripped my hand from Potter's and regained composure. Potter really could wait to exhibit joy until after McGonagall stopped talking? So embarrassing.

"No professor, sorry." She gave me a strange look then continued.

"The dance is formal, but we do want to stay true to tradition festivities. Students are expected to wear costumes, appropriate ones I might add. If any students costume qualifies as 'inapropriate' by any of the chaperoning teachers and staff, they will be excused from the party. I am expecting drinks, snacks, decor and music. If I am notified that any muggle liquor has been snuck in, the dance will be over and the event discontinued. I am expecting a lot from you two. Do not let Gryffindor down." She gave us each a biscuit and we were excused.

Walking down the steps from her office, James prodded my side. "Can you believe it, Evans? We get to plan a school sanctioned rager! Oh, Merlin I am flooding with ideas. Want to skip first class and plan?"

"No, I don't want to skip class! Potter we live together, we will have plenty of time to plan."

"Uh, no we won't. You coop yourself up in the library until after hours because Pince is basically in love with you-"

"James!"

"And I have quidditch every evening and matches on weekends. When will we ever have time?"

I really hated skipping class, only having done it once when I had the flu and was banned from being around other students, but Potter kind of had a point. I really did come back from the library late every night and he was always away at the quidditch pitch.

"Fine." He clapped with boyish glee. "Let's head back to the dormitory." James lightly grabbed my elbow and stopped me from walking any further.

"The dormitory has bad party planning energy."

I stared at him blankly. "What?"

"I just mean that it doesn't vibe with my creative space. We need to find somewhere else."

"Since when are you a hippie?" Over the summer I saw American television programs that showed men with long hair and rounded glasses like John Lennon.

"I'm not a hippie, Evans. I just need a specific ambiance for this." I could practically see the light bulb go off in his head. "I know a place."

Next thing I knew, I was being dragged out into the rain, without my cloak, by a hopped-up on excitement James Potter.

"Where the hell are we going?" My socks were already soaked through and squishy like my mother's Christmas green jelly.

"Don't freak out." Something every girl loves to hear when blindly following a mad man in the pouring rain. We jogged up to the Whomping Willow and I immediately hated my life.

"No. No, no freaking way I am going near that thing! Are you crazy?"

"Just trust me!" He than took out his wand, probably to use the Imperious Curse on me to force me into walking towards the tree as bait while he goes through the tunnel. Gratefully, he aimed it at the tree. "Immobulous!"

The tree stopped moving and he turned to me. "Okay, now run to the tunnel."

"What? No, you run to the tunnel first."

"Evans, someone has to un-freeze the tree so no one gets suspicious and I don't want you to run the risk of getting hurt." Wow, I almost believed him. "So, go ahead." He gestured for me to jog into the opening.

"I don't know what the bloody hell is down there! You could leave me in there by myself to die for all I know, Potter!"

"Why would I do that?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe for all the times I've publicly humiliated you and turned you down? It's finally time for an ass kicking, then, huh?"

"Just trust me."

I hesitated. "No."

"Yes!" James ran his fingers through his floppy hair and took quick glance toward the castle. He knew just as well as I did that we could be caught at any second. Too bad I would rather take a detention than jump into a massacring tree.

"I will not go in there! Not without you in front!" He was my own personal bait to whatever lurked in there.

"Just go!"

"Make me!" James then shoved me into the tunnel, un-froze the tree and proceeded to drag my kicking body down the passage.

"You asshole!" He pulled me off my knees and ushered me through the tunnel, his chest on my back.

"I've been called worse." He looked down at me and smiled. "But, hey, nothings down here, right? So, you would've been fine if you'd just listened to me."

"Shut up." He loosened his grip around me and we were then walking, him a step behind.

"Keep moving there, friend. All the way to the first door on the left."

I turned and faced him with my puzzled expression. "Have you been here many times before?" Our noses were an inch apart, I could feel his breath.

"A couple, maybe a few." The glint in his eye was back.

I turned back forward and reached the door. It was a dark wood with scratches down the length of it. The gold door knob was still shiny and the door didn't squeak when I opened it.

"Just go ahead and sit on the sofa, the left side only though." I wrinkled my brow and he clarified. "The right side sinks because of the missing springs." I nodded.

James sat down on a cushion on the floor while I crossed my legs underneath me on the left side of the sofa. A notebook somehow appeared in his lap with a quill and he looked up with me ready to begin. His eyes were gleaming and his mouth relaxed. I could tell he held tension in his shoulders, as they were pressed up toward his ears and he had a faint stain on his tie.

Potter cleared his throat and I blocked myself out of my head.

"Ready?" I nodded and placed my hands on my lap, suddenly very aware of my body. "Great. So, I figured you could help explain to me this muggle holiday? I don't know a lot about Halloveen."

I smiled. "It's Halloween and it's pretty simple to understand once you get the concept. On October 31st, kids dress up as anyone or anything they want and go house to house asking for sweets. They say, 'trick or treat,' because if the people don't give them a treat, they play a trick on the house. I think it began as a christian holiday or something, but that's the modernized version that happens in my neighborhood."

"Sounds to me like bratty kids dress up and demand free candy until they are given some, and if not they vandalize the good people of Britain."

Laughing I say, "yep, sounds about right." I try not to look around the room too much. I don't know James' connection to this shack, but I figure it's personal and off-limits.

"What have you dressed up as, before?" That caught me off guard.

"Uh, well, I've been a princess, a witch actually before I was eleven funny enough, a bride and I think a vampire, too when I was about nine."

"Cute, little Lily as a bride. Adorable."

"Oh, shut up, Potter. My sister lent me her white dress and my mum fashioned me a table cloth as my veil. It was adorable."

"And who was the groom?" James asked, partly joking. My stomach lurched and my eyes averted to the floor.

"Severus, actually," I glanced up and Potter's grin was gone. "He had borrowed his father's suit jacket and had on a top hat, too."

"He's in love with you," James blurted out. Our eyes met for a millisecond before we both dodged each other's gaze.

"What makes you think that? He wants nothing to do with me." I whisper to avoid the tears welling up in my throat.

James shifts himself to his knees and puts his hands gently on my legs and looks at me directly. "It is so obvious, Evans. The way he looks at you, tenses around you, dances around you. He loves you."

"But, how do you know-"

The door rips open and a trio of soaked boys barge in. James rips is hands from me and stands up to greet the boys. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter all shake their hair out like dogs and make themselves comfortable in the room. Remus looks a little uncomfortable.

"What are you all doing here? You should be in class," I state as I straighten my skirt and play with my hair. Why am I fidgeting? Why am I flushed? What was James saying?

"Well said, Miss Head Girl who is also out of bounds and also out of class." Sirius lounges next to me, sinking into the couch and looking effortlessly cool.

"Not the point. Potter?" I looked up at him for answers. He shrugs.

"I told the boys where I would most likely be and they came to hang out. You understand, right Evans?"

Were we ever going to actually plan the party? Or was this a ruse to bother me and make me look stupid? I sigh and stand. "If I wanted to lay around and chat with your little boy band I would definitely make sure we weren't in some abandoned shack, Potter. Who knows what could come up here and murder us all?" Remus flinched and I felt a pang in my gut for some reason. I shook my head. "If you want to seriously plan the party with me, you know where to find me."

All four boys rolled their eyes and said, "the library" in a monotone voice of annoyance.

I huff and storm out. "Evans, wait!" I hear Potter call, but I keep walking.

I'm halfway through the tunnel when James jogs up behind me. "What?" I bark.

He takes a step back and looks at his feet. "I just thought you would need help getting back out," he stepped forward a bit. "Listen, I'm sorry about the guys coming up here. I know we were supposed to get work done and I made the wrong call. I'll skip quidditch tonight and meet you in the library to get some of the bases planned, okay?"

I nod and give a tight smile. James smiles back and I secretly melt the second his hazel eyes glint at me. He stabilizes the tree and I walk out, subconsciously swishing my hips a bit more than usual. I kick myself for it, but also smile at the idea of Potter enjoying the view.

I disgust myself sometimes.

"Alright, Evans?" James asked as he walked up to the large, oak table in the back corner of the library. I feel myself flush and clasp my book closed for a breeze.

"Excellent. Let's get started."

He slides in across from me and loosens his tie some more. "I was thinking maybe we could enchant the walls to look like a muggle neighborhood, ya know? Keep it authentic. Do you think that would work?"

Not bad. "Oh, yeah that's not too bad. I'll chat to Flitwick about it tomorrow," I swallowed. "How do you feel about a large dance floor in the middle of the hall and then a pumpkin patch in the back to hang out, you know large Hagrid-sized pumpkins, and then the tables toward the front?"

"Brilliant. People can eat, dance and snog in three different locations! I'm sure Minny will adore the pumpkin idea."

"It wasn't supposed to be a dedicated make-out area! Friends can hang out there, too!"

"And do what?" James chewed on his quill.

"Talk, play games, stare at all each other for all I care! I just don't want a herd of underclassman at the tables in the way."

"Fine, but don't be surprised to find kiddos exchanging mints over there…no hands."

I grimaced. "You're gross." He chuckled and clapped his hands.

"Oh, come on, Evans. Kissing is a sport and the more you do it the better you get at it. Hogwarts can't be getting a bad rep."

"Ugh, I'm sure there's a line of fifth years just itching to learn from the master himself." I began packing up my books.

"Master? Hmmm, word is getting around about me."

I rolled my eyes and smirked. "Please, don't try to tell me you don't spend day-in and day-out spreading those rumors about yourself. I doubt you've ever even been kissed."

He dramatically lurched back and his mouth dropped. "How _dare_ you! I am the snog king, Lily Evans!"

"I'll have to take your word for it."

"Mmm, no you don't. I can prove it." He leaned forward and our noses were almost touching. I wasn't a baby and I wasn't going to back down. I let out a long, deep sigh and closed my eyes gently. When I felt him lean closer, I pecked his cheek and snapped back in a roar of laughter. He paused for a second in shock before sitting back and looking dumbfounded.

"You're evil." James explained in a joking manner. We planned and chatted and joked as the moon rose higher and higher.

Two hours later Madam Pince couldn't stretch the library hours any longer. She ushered us out and the party was practically planned.

"So date-wise, what were you thinking?" Potter asked me as he pushed back his long bangs. We started walking toward our portrait.

"Um, actually there was something I wanted to ask you about that." I had it on my mind all day since the shack. I mean, if I was going to ask someone, I wanted it to be someone I was comfortable with. Someone normal, and fun, too. And I did feel guilty about overreacting earlier to him. James look like a big bottle of soda had been shaken inside of his body and he was about to fizz out the anticipation of my question.

"Do you think Remus would be interested in going with me?"

James face fell. His eyes dropped immediately to his hands and he tugged on his sleeves. Running a hand through his hair he grunted out, "You'd have to ask him, Evans. Good luck with that one." With a tight-lipped smile he nodded toward me. "Well, I need a snack before bed, but I'll see you." James started to walk, but I stopped him.

"Kitchens? I'll come along if you want-"

"No, thanks, Evans." And then he was gone. I watched him take off and round the corner. Tucking a stray piece of hair behind my head I slowly shuffled back to the dormitory. That was weird.

Shit. I hope he didn't think I was going to ask him, wait.

That's exactly what he thought.

I'm such an asshole it's not even funny.


	3. Chapter 3

Credit to JK Rowling! XOXO -L

Chapter 3:

"How are the decorations looking Miss Evans?" McGonagall asked me as I was walking out of transfiguration. I paused and plastered a happy smile on my face before facing her.

"Great! Everything seems to be in order and the prefects are using every free moment to get everything prepared," I reinforce my dropping grin. "It's going to be a fun party, professor." She wished me well and sent me off. The truth was that James had disappeared ever since the initial planning. Nowhere to be seen at meals, he always came back to the dorm after I had gone to bed and was gone before I was awake. The only time I saw him was in class and he sat as completely far away from me as possible and darted in and out at the last second to avoid all contact with me.

Truthfully, I think he's upset about the Remus thing. I had asked Remus to go to the dance with me the day after I brought up the idea to Potter. He gave me a regretful yes and quickly dodged me almost as well as James. He's a good friend to both of us, I guess. Kind enough to go to the party with me, but also loyal enough to stay away from me in front of his best friend.

The only contact I've had with Potter was one night when I had fallen asleep in front of the fire on the sofa. He had walked in late and I woke up to him softly moving around me to get to his room. I was half-asleep and groggy and guilty. I know feeling guilt was stupid, we rent good friends, let alone dating, but I couldn't help the pit in my stomach whenever I pictured his fallen face.

"James?" I had croaked. He stopped, startled that I was awake. He just slowly looked over at me from behind the couch.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, almost making no sound at all.

He had looked down and then stared at the ceiling, chin jutted out. "Goodnight, Lily," he murmured with a slight, defeated sigh.

The next morning, he was back to being grumpy Potter.

"Hey, Lily." Remus Lupin approached me with a more nervous demeanor than usual.

"Remus, what's up?" I shifted the weight of my bag uncomfortably. He was giving me ominous vibes.

"I'm really sorry, but I can't go with you to the dance tomorrow. I just got detention for missing last weeks potions homework from Slughorn." My face fell.

"Oh, um, that's really rude of him to assign it tomorrow night. Do you want me to talk to him about moving it?"

Remus quickly stuttered out, "oh, no that's ok. Really I deserve it, I'm falling behind. Detention is just me making up some lost work time. I'm really sorry, but I know you'll have a great time without me."

"Right, um, ok. Well, good luck with potions, I guess."

He smiled tightly and nodded, turning on his heel and heading down the hall.

Alright, no date. No problem. Didn't need one anyways. I just hope this makes Potter hate me less. I actually miss our banter a lot more than I thought.

I swiped the red lipstick across my lips and blotted. Finally ready to go. I twirled in the mirror, admiring my charm work. My white dress was puffy and lacy and my red hair was twisted up in a knot, adding a few inches of height to my petite stature. Adding the final charm to my costume and I was ready,

I walked out of my room and ran into Potter. He was dressed like a 1920s gangster from America. His hair was slicked back, using Sleak-eazy, I'm sure. He had a drawn-on pencil thin mustache above his upper lip and a striped suit.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" James asked looking taken back from my appearance.

I huffed. "I'm an angel, genius. Sorry, I'm not as cliche as your Al Capone get-up."

"Who?"

"Ugh, typical. Al Capone was one of the most notorious gansters of the 20th century-"

"No, not him! I studied for my character, Evans."

"Oh, really? Prove it."

James stood up straight and puffed out his chest. "Alphonse Gabriel Capone was born on-"

"Okay, okay. I believe you."

"Now, what makes you think you can get away wth being an angel? You're probably the least angelic being I know."

"Potter always the charmer."

"Well, am I wrong?" His eyes lingered over my frame, pausing at my slightly exposed bust. "You aren't exactly infallible, dear"

I rolled my eyes. "Do not call me 'dear!' And I can be angelic!"

James smiled like a little boy in a candy store. "Okay, Evans. Whatever you say. Though, I do think a devil would make more sense."

"Hey!"

"Because of the red hair!"

"Let's go, gangsta man." I grabbed his hand and we headed for the door.

"I want to give a big, Hogwarts thank you to the two Head students who put this event together, Mr. James Potter and Miss Lily Evans!" Professor Dumbledore exclaimed. I bowed my head and blushed while James decided to wave and bow at the crowd. I know, I too am shocked.

"Evans and I thank everyone for coming and hope everyone has an amazing night! Happy Halloween!"

"Please, eat the pumpkin pasties and drink the hot apple cider! Cinnamon sticks are included in each mug!" Students crowded the dance floor, the ingenious pumpkin patch and and ravished the refreshments. I caught Sirius Black lurking near the punch one two many times and finally had to set him straight.

"Black, I know what your trying to do and it will not work. I've enchanted the punch bowl to reject anything alcoholic."

His face dropped into a mopey look. "Evans, why must you ruin everything fun?"

Jerk. "I do not ruin _everything_ fun! I set up the pumpkin patch! I heard it's perfect for snogging!" Sorry, James, but I'm stealing your initial patch idea.

"That was your idea?" Black nodded, "pretty good, but" his face went mischievous, "because we can't drink here, I will be expecting you in our dormitory for the after party."

"No way! Girls can't go up there!" How in the world was Black expecting to get away with something as stupid as that?

"Silly, silly Evans. That enchantment is only for the girls' dormitories. Girls are more than welcome up to the boys rooms and so I insist you come."

If I go to the after party, everything I stand for is in peril. Drinking underage and on school grounds? Going up to the boys room? As Head Girl?

"Fine." I don't know why I agreed, but a face flashed in my mind and I'm choosing to be in denial. Yes, after two weeks of no James, I do feel depraved of arguing and spats, so really I'm only going to let off some steam. I'll probably cause a row within the first half hour and get to leave by eleven. Ha!

"See you there, Evans," Black winked at me. Stay in control, Evans. You got this.

"Lily!" I turned to see James Capone making his way through the crowd with two mugs.

"Hey, Potter." Be cool.

"I got us some cider and figured we could start judging the best costume contest."

I took the mug and enjoyed a sip. "Sounds good. See any ones that are sticking out to you?"

"Well, I'm biased, but I think Sirius' James costume is impeccable. I mean, glasses? Perfectly shaped. Blue t-shirt? Not sure where he found an exact replica of that-"

"Probably your closet."

"And the hair! Merlin! It just screams sex god!"

"I don't think anyone knows what the hell he's supposed to be."

"I think he's a dead ringer."

"Right."

"Ok then, judging done let's go tell McGonagall."

"Woah! Not yet! I think Henry King's age costume is perfect."

"That's cheating! He's a metamorphmagus! Of course his eagle beak is realistic! It is real!"

"Gotta play to your talents."

"Hey, guys!" Peter Pettigrew walked up in a full Fred Flintstone caveman get-up.

"Pete what's up?"

"Nothing, just thought I would say hello." He glanced between James and I. "Wow, you two kind of look like bride and groom."

James and I's head snapped to each other, then down to our outfits and then to anywhere else in the room that wasn't each other.

"Thanks, Wormtail."

"Well, gotta run. Sirius said he would introduce me to Penny Tremont." And then he was gone. That wasn't completely embarrassing at all. My head turned to my reflection on the enchanted neighborhood house next to me. My white, angel dress reached the floor and James' suit could've been a fancy tux to someone like Peter. Yep, definite marital vibes.

James brushed his hand through his hair. "Pete's hilarious. But, um, I guess he's not completely off." Did Potter just stutter? He never stuttered! He's uncomfortable! Oh, Merlin.

"Real joker." I'm uncomfortable.

Pause that lasted too long…

"So, King?" Potter asked, staring at his cuff.

"King it is."

"Excellent."

Marlene turned to me, "You're next, Truth or dare?" A group of eleven seventh years were huddle around a firewhiskey bottle along with Fannie Vale, a sixth year dating Jason Fletcher. The rest of the group included myself, James, Sirius, Peter, Remus (who was now out of detention and avoiding eye contact with me), Kingsley Shacklebolt, Marlene, Alice, and Rachel Donavan who was Peter's crush. We were playing truth or dare. The rules were that if you backed out of your dare or refused to answer the questions, you drank, and if you were caught lying about your answer, you drink, and if the dare was sexual, the magical (completely normal by the way) fire whiskey bottle decided on your partner.

"Truth." I was two fire whiskey shot into the game because there was no way in hell a silly game would get me to give my knickers to Sirius Black or kiss Slughorn on the cheek in class on Monday. I can't give that man any ideas.

"Last year you came back to bed late for a whole month straight and after some snooping, Alice and I discovered you were not in the library. Where were you?"

Shit. That's the month I had a secret fling with Randy Hall, a year older than me and the Head Boy. We had met while I was a prefect and he was in Ravenclaw. He promised me he wanted to go public with our relationship once exams were over, but after graduation, it finally dawned on me that I was just a stupid sixth year side-piece. He ended up going on to be an intern at St. Mungos and has been dating Hilda Shank. I never wanted anyone to know how pathetic I was. I lost my virginity to him.

My face was white as a ghost and my hands were trembling. It was just a game, we were all friends here. Except, I would rather die than have Potter know I stooped so low to be a secret hook-up. I don't know why, but I cared what he thought of me. Damn stupid boy.

"Pass me the glass." Everyone laughed and Marlene shot my a wicked wink, like she knew I would fess up to her later. Maybe I would. Black poured me a shot and it tasked like hot smoke going down my throat and it fell into my stomach like a grenade. Buzzed I was.

"Remus, now it's your turn. Truth or dare?"

"Dare." He knew I would ask him if the potions detention was a cover-up or not for dodging being my date. Smart boy, maybe I would have.

"Give someone in the room a lap dance. The bottle decides who." I know he's quite possibly the most awkward person on the planet and this is what he gets for making me not only feel guilty about asking him, but also standing me up the day before. He sighed and spun the bottle, landing on Kingsley.

"I'm ready when you are, cowboy." Kingsley was the boys neighbor and friend. He had a good head on his shoulders and could take a joke. Th next three minutes of Remus thrusting and shimmying against Kingsley's knees was the funniest thing everyone had seen in a while.

"Prongs, truth or dare?" James was five shots deep and three of them were voluntary. I explained that wasn't the point of the game, to get the most hammered. His response was that its more fun to be drunk for the game because then the real truths seem to come out. But, his five shots was basically the boy equivalent to my three. Damn genetics.

"Dare, I'm an open book anyways." Remus looked wickedly clever. He had the look of a madman plastered on his face, like he would force Potter to do anything that would make people forget about his stunt on Kingsley.

"Seven minutes in Heaven, open book." James tried to hide his expression of fear, but I read through that. I hadn't ever really seen Potter exhibit any PDA and all of his dates to Hogsmeade never seemed to go anywhere. My head felt warm and fuzzy. I spaced out for a moment and then everyone was staring at me. I looked down and the bottle tip was facing me.

Oh, boy.

"Wait, no, uh, we, uh, we can't force Evans to go in there with me. That's not right. Let me just do the shot." James reached for the bottle, but I snatched it from his grasp.

"Excuse me, Potter," why did I feel like my mind was outside of my body? "I can do whatever I want." What the actual fuck was I saying?

His eyes popped from their sockets and I stood up and heard for the bathroom that was connected to the boys room.

"Alright." James followed me and was flushed red.

"Whoo! Go Prongs!" I saw Potter look back and give Black a nasty stare. The room had gone quiet, but the second he shut the door behind him, the whispers started.

"Evans, seriously, we don't have to do anything."

"You're face is stupid." Were these the words I wanted to come out of my mouth?

"What?" I looked into the bathroom mirror and examined my face. My green eyes were bright and my cheeks very pink. I turned back to him and stepped closer.

"You walk around with your glasses and your long nose and your stupid freckley-moles and think you're the cuter than sliced bread."

"That's not the saying."

"But, I see past your little cute boy face. It's stupid. You're eyes are too close and your teeth aren't perfectly straight and you forget to shave patches of hair on your chin."

"Evans, I-"

"But that's ok. Because your floppy hair and broad shoulders make up for it."

"Broad shoulders?"

"Yeah, from quid-" hiccup, "-ditch."

"Evans, are you ok? You feel warm." His hand reached and felt my forehead. His hands were rough, but not too dry or too moist. My hands felt clammy. I always had clammy hands. Cold, moist, shake-y.

"No, I'm fine." My eyes kept dropping closed and my head swiveled around the room without moving.

"You need some water. I think you've had too much to drink."

I snapped back into it. "What? No, I haven't!"

"You just look a little flushed and I think you just need a little water break."

"Prove it!" I yelled. He was testing me. I felt fine. I felt great, damn it.

James gave me a pitiful smile that I resented greatly and gently pushed my forehead back with his pointer finger. My bottom bounced against the countertop and sprung back up to standing position. Shit.

"That was just a coincidence. I can walk just fine." I then proceeded to walk toward the shower and only stumble once.

Nailed it.

He chuckled and handed me a glass of water. "Just drink it." As if I would drink from the same glass Sirius Black probably gargles from; no thanks.

"I hear a lot of talking in there!" Alice yelled from outside the door.

Next thing I knew, the entire group outside was chanting, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" over and over again. How utterly romantic.

I looked at James with my bright eyes and slightly parted mouth. I felt guilty already for calling his face stupid. That wasn't nice of me at all.

He was breathing very heavy and looked in pain. Why was he in pain? Did he seriously feel nauseated when thinking about kissing me? I know were just barely friends, if you could call our partnership that. Friends who fought and screamed and teased and gave the cold shoulder to. So not _great_ friends.

"Lily, we don't have to kiss. Let them believe what they want."

"Are you really that repulsed by the idea of kissing me? I have pretty nice lips. I would know, I bite them quite a lot, I hear." James looked perplexed and caught off guard. I remembered his comment in potions about wanting to bite my lips. A joke. Only a joke. He says anything to get under my skin.

_Then why did he get so upset after you asked Remus to the dance?_

Shut up thoughts! He was just mad I didn't ask him because of his front. He just wants to prove to everyone he finally got me after years of begging me to go out. He was embaressed.

James choked out a pained, "Repulsed? You think I'm repulsed by you?"

I shrugged and averted my eyes.

He closed his eyes softly and took a step closer to me. Our chests brushing against each other.

"I'm not repulsed, Evans." His voice grew quieter, "Not even a little bit." He took a deep breath and whispered, "My only problem is," James said as he leaned in, "if I kissed you, I don't think I'd be able to stop."

My breath hitched and I felt my heavy eyes droop closed once again. He leaned in and I met him halfway. Our lips had just barely brushed before the door burst open.

"Time's up!"


	4. Chapter 4

Credit to JK Rowling! XOXO -L

Chapter 4:

Things with Potter have been tense. We both have non-verbally decided to ignore the almost-kiss that almost happened and have both been trying to behave normally.

We are both failing miserably.

"Could you pass the maple syrup, Evans?" James was across the table from me and hadn't looked me int he eye all morning.

"Course, Potter." I slide him the bottle. Our eyes met for a moment before darting away to stare down at our plates.

"Thanks."

"Not a problem," Potter grunted with tension held in his jaw.

Marlene stops chewing and looks up at Potter then shoots me a side-eye. She swallows and nudges me.

"What was that?" Her head dodged behind Alice's back and I met her behind her on the other side of Alice. Her hushed tone sprung up the boys' ears across the table.

"What?" I reply in an equally quiet whisper.

"The politeness with Potter," she grunts out. She and everyone else had noticed our uncomfortable attitudes. Sirius was trying to figure out what had happened and kept darting his eyes from me and then back to Potter. Remus I could tell was just trying to stay out of it, but was of course curious along with Peter who kept shooting me a quizzical look. I think he was the only one who knew something off had happened in the bathroom since he had been the one to open the door as our lips were brushing.

I shrug my shoulders toward her and continue eating. Easier to be uncomfortably polite than to be uncomfortably silent to one another. A few more rounds of the game occurred and then a few more drinks and everyone was passed out and trying to already forget the embarrassing truths and dares to come out of the night. I was kicking myself for almost kissing James and cursing ever bone in my body for not.

I just wish I knew what Potter was thinking.

James was the first one to finish breakfast and began walking out towards the doors, probably to get to class early or more realistically, to get away from me. I was sick of the tension already and it had only been a day.

"Potter, wait up!"

He stopped walking and paused before turning around, almost like he had to contemplate the consequences of speaking to me.

"What's up?" His shoulders were tense and expression was faux-cheery.

"I figured we could finish up the prefect schedule before first period? We should have enough time and I know you'll be busy later with quidditch." Hopefully me knowing that didn't come off as creepy.

His hand scratched the back of his head and his gaze went over my head. "Uh, yeah let's do it. I don't think Minny would mind us using the transfiguration room before class."

"Great!" I was trying to be positive and not come off as a complete awkward turtle.

His stride was much longer than mine and I had to practically shuffle to keep up with his long legs. "So, I was thinking we could put McDaniel with Morgan and then Kessler with Deacon? I know Jane and Rory just split up so I put her with Morgan and him with Deacon to ease the tension."

"Deacon and Rory aren't very good friends. They're always bickering at meetings. And Jane dumped Henry Morgan in a very messy breakup last year so that won't work either. How about flip it? Jane with Deacon and Rory with Henry?"

"That should work. What about Tim and Beth? Are they mates?"

"If you call shag buddies friends." His tone was harsh, like it bit me.

I blinked and swallowed hard. "Oh, I didn't realize-"

"Yep." He seemed agitated. Like he wanted to be anywhere else but here with me discussing prefect's love lives.

I sighed and just gritted my teeth through it. If he wanted to be difficult and make this harder than it had to be that's his problem.

"Then great. Maybe they can share a broom closet at the end of there shift as a reward. Everyone else seems to be fine together." I shoved the calendar in my bag and stood up from the desk with too many carvings in it to make out any of them anymore. Potter noticed that I had picked up on his mood. I could see he almost felt guilty for acting cross, but not quite. His brows were furrowed, but his mouth was tight.

"Jay!"

The most horrendous noise erupted from behind me. I grimace and turn to see Olivia Goldibeck coming up from the back of the class. I whip my head around and see Potter's demeanor change. He looked surprised, but also happy to see someone else in the room with us.

Olivia threw her arms around James' neck when she came up behind him. He leaned into the touch after a moment. Since when were they mates?

"Hey, Olivia. How are you?" He was comfortable with her. I didn't even know they knew each other's seemed chummy. My arms crossed without me even realizing it and a scowl painted on my lips.

"Excellent of course, I'm with my favorite transfiguration partner." She looked up at me, like she had just realized I was there. "Hey, Lily."

I smiled and nodded a hello.

Then it was back to "Jay."

Disgusting.

I quickly shuffled out of the room. I didn't need to see anymore of their interaction. I found Marlene and explained to her the mood change and the Olivia altercation.

"She'll do anything to get in a bloke's trousers, Lil. What did you expect?"

I shrugged and shifted the weight of my shoulder bag.

"Wait."

I glanced up at her and she had a lightbulb look on his face. "What?"

"Are you jealous?" She had a glint in her dark eyes and her arms crossed across her chest. Marlene could always read me like a book.

"I am not jealous of Olivia Goldibeck," I said firmly. "Why on God's green earth would I be jealous of her? Her terrible grades or her ridiculously tight skirt?"

"You're worried she may have a thing with Potter. You don't want her anywhere near him, do you?"

"Marlene, that's insane. Why would I care what Potter did?"

"Well, you just spent a good ten minutes explaining the way he enunciated his words which of course meant he was cross with you and I know something happened in that bathroom the other night. I wasn't born yesterday, Lily."

I bit my lip and looked anywhere that wasn't my best friends eyes. "I don't care what he thinks or does. I just want to be a good Head Girl and that means working with Potter so I try to get us to work well together and we can't do that if he's angry with me. So-"

"Fine," Marlene said as she put her hands up in defense. "I'll drop it."

"Thank you." I really didn't need Marlene making things worse between us. She was on the quidditch team with him and would absolutely let something slip.

"But, that doesn't mean I won't still be suspicious. I'll figure you out, Lily Evans. I always do." She winked and headed into the classroom. I took breath and followed.

McGonagall had us transfiguring a feather into a quill with wordless magic, which was much harder than it sounds. I remember doing this as first years, but we could say the spell. Marlene tried twice than gave up and then proceeded to turn around in her chair to argue with Remus Lupin (always a bad idea) about the properties of troll saliva, the topic in potions yesterday. She was losing.

I stared at my feather and recited the spell in my mind. Nothing. I tried to picture the transformation, but still it just sat there being a feather. A white, fluffy feather. I huffed and let my eyes wander over to the left side of the room. Potter was walking Olivia through the mental magic as he already had a quill sitting perfectly on his desk. Git.

"Now, clear your mind," he instructed. Probably easy for her to do. It's empty already, I'm sure.

"Hold you wand loosely in your hand. The trick is to not think about it too hard. It's supposed to be wordless, limited movement so it can be undetectable." I loosened my grip on my wand. That was a good tip; I was definitely grasping my wand like I was going to do the spell regularly.

"Take a deep breath. Picture the feather popping into a quill, like you're already watching it happen." She's practically in his lap. McGonagall say something! This is inappropriate! But she was assisting another student and blind to the dry humping occurring in her classroom.

"Now, say the spell in your head." Ugh.

Scribblifors.

POP!

I did it! I looked down at my desk and still saw the feather laying there flat. But that wasn't possible. I know I did the spell; I could feel it.

"Eek! Jay!"

My head ripped up from my desk and over to Olivia's hand which was gripping a bright white quill.

"I did it!" She screeched in her sing-song voice.

But that wasn't her! I did that! I transfigured her feather without even realizing it!

"That was great, Liv! Now, we can talk about this weekend." James was smiling and had his arm around the back of Olivia's chair. I am going to vomit. Why do things like this always happen to me? I tried repeating the steps onto my own feather, but it wouldn't budge.

"Miss Evans?" McGonagall was at the top of my desk and staring down at my feather with distaste. "Could you not perform the wordless charm?"

Everyone was looking, even Potter and Olivia had their heads turned to me. "I-uh, I've been working on it, Professor."

"Keep at it, Miss Evans. Do you need any assistance?"

I shook my head violently and assured her I could figure it out on my own. She nodded and moved on.

Potter and I made eye contact and his eyes seemed conflicted. Like he considered helping me before turning back to his new pet.

Jerk.

"Lil, you ok?" Marlene was done losing to Remus and had decided to pay attention to me once again.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just need another minute to figure out this charm."

"You'll get it. I'm not worried." Then, it was back to arguing.

I sunk in deeper into my seat and rested my head on the back of my chair. I willed myself not to look over at Potter, probably making plans with Olivia for Hogsmeade this weekend. Of course he would. But, why do I care so much? It's Potter. He plays games with me and teases me with jokes and almost-kisses and is then rude to me.

Screw him.

"There's three seats by the fireplace! Lily, go snag them before someone else gets them. Alice and I will get the drinks." Marlene ushered Alice and herself through the crowds while I hurried to sit down at the table. The Three Broomsticks was completely full of Hogwarts students and it was this time of the month that people living in town stayed safely in there homes, away from the childish chaos.

I scanned the bar for my friends and saw them negotiating with Madam Rosmerta to be get their drinks first. They were failing. I looked around the bar and saw a mess of dark hair sitting across from long, blonde hair. Ugh.

James was pulling all of the basic stunts: loud jokes, poking fun at other customers in the bar, doing basically anything to make her laugh. I know all of this because I live with the guy and when he's trying to impress you, he'll make sure you're entertained.

I watched them interact discreetly for a few more minutes before Alice and Marlene returned with butterbeers. "Three butterbeers for three lovely ladies," Alice said as she set one in front of me.

"Thanks, Al. It's a mad house in here."

"No kidding." Marlene took a long sip before she followed my gaze across the room. "Lily, stop it."

"What?"

"Spying on Potter and Goldilocks over there! You're not fooling anyone, babe."

"I just noticed them over there, actually. I also saw Danielle Waterford and George Hanes over there, too." I got to prove I didn't just spend ten minutes analyzing Olivia's hand motions.

"Bullshit. You're staring!" Marlene wasn't buying it.

"Lil, since when do you have a thing for Potter?" Alice asked curiously.

"I don't have a thing for anyone! Marlene is acting crazy. Why would I care what he did? He was so short to me the other day! I'm still sulking."

Marlene rolled her eyes and Alice let it go. We chatted about Alice's boyfriend Frank and how Marlene almost convinced Remus that she was right and he was wrong. (Almost.) Alice had to go back to the castle to work on homework, but Marlene and I stayed a bit longer.

"Lily?" Marlene was quiet and she was never quiet.

"Yeah?" My stomach was a pit. She obviously knew something was wrong.

"Lily, I think you like Potter." I opened my mouth to respond, but she threw her hands up. "Before you tell me I'm wrong or crazy, hear me out, ok?" I nodded and sighed, gesturing for her to continue. "Listen, you two have been spending a lot more time together and both of you have grown a lot since last year. You're friends. Real friends who talk and argue and tease and joke. You've lived together for almost a full semester now and I can tell you care about one another. It's ok. You can tell me anything, you know that right?"

I was chewing on my bottom lip and let out a sigh of relief. Maybe it would be better if someone else knew.

"I don't know what I feel, honestly." Marlene was suppressing her prideful smirk for being right. "I just prefer to be with him than not and I hated him being cross with me and I hate him with Olivia and I don't know why. He's still annoying and stupid and immature, but-" I squeeze my eyes shut and take a breath. "But he's my friend and I care."

Marlene squealed in glee and clapped her hands together. "I'm so happy for you, Lil! A crush! This hasn't happened since that Randy Hall guy. Whatever happened with him, anyways?"

Guess I'm confessing all of my secrets today. I fessed up to my secret fling with Randy and to the almost-kiss that almost happened on Halloween.

"You almost kissed! And you didn't tell me?!" Marlene was shocked to say the least. "And you lost your v-card to Randy fucking Hall? Lily Evans! You dog!" We were in stitches laughing and admitting everything we had kept secret from each other. Marlene explained how she had slept with Sirius over the summer when they ran into each other and decided to stay friends. Lots of discoveries happened at the back corner table that I hardly noticed when I glanced across the room to see Potter and Olivia were gone. My face dropped. Just imagining them snogging in the alley made my stomach feel full of rampant wasps.

"Lil? What's wrong?"

"They left." I tossed my head in the direction of their tabled and buried my face in my hands. "They left and are probably to second base by now." I threw my head on the table dramatically.

"Oh, Lil! I promise that's not what they're doing!" She rubbed my back and shushed my pathetic whimpers. "There to third by now for sure."

I shot up and slapped her arm with a pout on my face. "You're a terrible friend, McKinnon!"

"I know." She was giggling in my despair.

I was begging for answers to my horrid problem. "What do I do?"

"You need to wait it out, babe. Olivia is not long term material, let alone fling material. They'll be over within a week and then you can begin stealing back his heart. But, you cannot let this affect you. You'll jeopardize everything if you do."

I nodded and realized she was right. It was just something I'd have to live with until Merlin finally granted me some pease and it ended.

"And here comes Grant with the quaffle, Potter close behind. And now-oh! Potter now has possession of the quaffle and is headed toward the Gryffindor goal. Keeper for Hufflepuff, Kathy Reid, lunges and — misses! Ten points for Gryffindor! That leaves us at 120 to 90, Gryffindor in the lead."

I roll my eyes from the last row of seats in the stands. I dragged poor Alice back here with me refusing to let Potter see me at his match. Merlin, he probably doesn't even care if I'm here or not.

No. He definitely doesn't give a shit if I'm here or not. I began to feel more and more pathetic for over thinking this whole situation. It turns out I'm absolute rubbish at waiting out the storm.

"Alice, are you ready to go soon?" My eyes pleaded with hers and she shot me a raised eyebrow.

"It's only been about half an hour, Lily. Why can't we stick around until the end?"

"Because this game could last days! We never know with quidditch, you know that. Plus, isn't Frank in the library? You know he'd love to see you come and visit him. I have so much homework, too. It's madness." Please, please let me leave.

Alice sighed and gestured for me to scoot down to the end of the bench and begin heading out. Was it horrible of me to manipulate her into leaving with me? Yes. But, in my gut I just knew I would go crazy sitting here not being sure if I should make sure Potter sees me or doesn't see me.

I hope the mental institution I'll end up in has good food.

"Watch your step, Lil!"

My foot caught on a loose stair and I jerked forward. Luckily, I grabbed the handrail soon enough to stop myself from falling, but I scrape my arm in the process against the jagged wood. The staircases in the stands seem ancient. "Thanks, Al. Merlin, the need to renovate the death trap that is this pitch."

"No, kidding. Is your am ok?"

I nodded and looked down. It was beginning to bleed, but I cast a bandage charm and planned to clean it once I go back to the castle. We reach the ground and take one last look at the match. Gryffindor is still winning and Potter is racing to the hoops.

Show off.

"Potter is heading to the goal once again. Reid has back-up in the form of chasers Grace Hammond and Riley Moore who are sandwiching Potter between them, like a group embrace in the worst kind of way. Potter tries to shrug them off and shoot forward on his Cleansweep, but no luck. Coming up on the hoops, beater Jacobson hits the bludger Potter's way and—"

BOOM!

James is knocked off his broom and flings to the ground, landing hard. I feel a hurricane of force hit my stomach and I slap my mouth with my hand in surprise. I'm frozen before I start subconsciously moving toward the field. My eyesight is fading until I can only see a pinpoint that is Potter's form on the ground. Then, I take off running.

"Lily! Stop!" Alice runs up behind me and grabs my shoulders holding me back. "You can't go out there! You'll just hurt him more. Let the others take care of it."

I've never wanted to slap her harder in my life.

"I know you hate me right now, but let's go. Come on, you can meet him up at the infirmary. Let's go!"

Alice and I run up to the infirmary as the crowds of students pour out of the stands to the field. We get a head start and beat them to the castle. Professors demand students clear the field and make room for McGonagall who has James levitating next to her unconscious.

"What if he's paralyzed? Al, what if he'll never play quidditch again?"

"Calm down, Lily! This 'what' if game will only make you feel worse."

Why was she so rational? So irritating.

"Make way! Out of the way!" I sprang up from the bench in the hallway and felt all feeling leave my body. James was sheet white, his face looked empty and his glasses shattered. Madam Pomfrey came out from the infirmary and ushered them in. Sirius, Remus and Peter were all behind them along with the rest of the Gryffindor team. The three Marauders started to enter the room, but were denied access.

"Hey! He's our best mate!" Sirius' eyes were dark and bloodshot, like it was just moments before becoming too much to handle.

"No visitors at this time," Flitwick explained sternly, but I could see he felt for James' friends.

"Wait!" I briskly walked over to Professor Flitwick. "I'm Head Girl with Potter. I should be in there, right Professor?" I heard someone behind me scoff. I whip around and see Peter with his arms crossed and Sirius with his head in his hands crouched against the wall. "What?" I ask a bit harshly.

"You seriously think they care about head positions, Evans? We're his best mates and can't get in." His words came out like knives. So much hatred in them, like he was trying to hurt me.

"Cool it, Pete," Remus said over his shoulder. He was on the wall with Sirius and his head leaning back on the wall.

"I just thought—" I began.

"Oh, you thought because Prongs got hurt and you share a room with him and a title you get special treatment? Right. Head Girl Evans coming through! Make way!"

"Wormtail." Remus said more sternly.

"You're out of line, Pettigrew. I am not like that at all and I know that titles don't mean anything. I just thought I could help."

"How? By playing your little mind games with him some more?"

"I don't play games with him! We're barely even speaking!"

"Then, explain again why you should be in there?"

I gulped. I had never had a row with Peter before and I did not like it. I could see the pain in his eyes. He was just scared for his friend and was taking it out on me.

I lowered my eyes and apologized for over-stepping. I went back to my bench and sat down with Alice.

"What was that?"

"I don't know. But, I think I'm just going to go back to my dormitory." I stood up and Alice followed.

"Wait, let me come—"

"No, thanks, Alice. I'll just catch up with you later." I rushed down the hall and ran to my room once I turned the corner. Tears were streaming down my face. Potter was hurt and I just made it all about myself. No wonder his friends hate me.

It wasn't until I woke up from my nap on the sofa to a knock on the portrait. I ran over and opened it to see Madam Pomfrey with a sleeping James levitating next to her. "Hello, Miss Evans. May I come lay Mr. Potter down in his room?"

I nodded and ushered her in immediately. She explained he would be asleep for some more time, but should be ok. His right arm was in a sling and his left eye was bruised. His glasses had been repaired.

Madam Pomfrey showed herself out and I sat against the edge of Potter's bed just checking for any visible scars or more bruising. His temple was yellow and his lip a bit swollen. I could see his clothes were still muddy from the game and I began to do some vanishing enchantments for the dirt. I slowly removed his spectacles and placed them lightly on the table.

"Evans?" My eyes popped open and I realized Potter had awoke. His voice was gravelly and dry, like each word was painful.

"Yeah?" I whispered. My heart was racing and my hands growing hot. I was only a few inches from his sleepy face and the last thing I wanted was for him to hear my thumping chest. I slowly sat back up.

"Did I die?" He was squinting and seemed only half-awake, like when you awake in the middle of the night before drifting back to sleep.

I smiled softly before responding. "No. You're very much alive, Potter."

"Good." He was starting to gain a bit more energy, however, his eyes were still heavy; his eyelids stealing Lily's glimpses at his hazel eyes. I began to shift my body to a standing position when James lightly traced his hand on the bandage on my arm.

"What happened?"

I tried not to lean into his touch. "I just got scraped a bit. I'm alright."

He nodded, but was still running his fingers on my arm softly. So softly.

"Go back to sleep now," I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear. The only light in the room was coming from the cracked door and the firelight from his hearth. The embers were low and weak, the light dancing across our faces slowly.

James nodded and nestled his head slightly. "Sleep's perfect."

I chuckled to myself at his half-asleep murmurs as I stood up and retreated from the room. I had the door almost completely closed before hearing the softest noise come from Potter's lips.

"Lily's perfect."


End file.
